Being empathic, sensitive, open at this time can be so hard, to take the hatred, hurt, sorrow and blame flooding the psychic airways.
It's even harder when you are viewing what is happening from a more reflective understanding.
I wanted to write this post to share the 'other side' because so many in the West are blaming, hating and seeing the 'other' as the bad in all of this fear-based mania.
And I thought about sharing who was behind ISIS, what there is to gain from a war on terrorism and so much more. I could list all of the deeper darker aspects of what has happened often hidden in mainstream media, and I held my hands up and thought – but why?
What is it going to solve, sharing what is going on beyond the news?
Naturally, at the moment, people are scared, angry, hurting because of loss.
The sense of powerlessness those in the Middle East feel on a daily basis, we are experiencing in the West now.
I read the hate on social media, the blame, the knee jerk emotional reactions based on what many are taking in from the mainstream news and inside I hurt. I hurt because I choose to look at humans - not religion, humans - not culture or colour.
I felt heart-sad when I saw everyone pasting Paris flags over their profile photos on Facebook, not because I don't care about the losses in Paris, but because I care about the losses everywhere. And it hurt so hard to know that most do not consider or absorb the terror and fear those in other countries are experiencing daily.
I need to write this sadness out, this confusion out.
Needing To Be Right
My ego feels the need to put people right, to let people know that what they think is true is more than likely not true, but what is true is shared grief, shared pain, shared fear.
I asked a higher power, a higher wisdom for answers and understanding on what is taking place in the world right now and I just got: "Share your feelings, not facts or figures, not data, share feelings".
I can't make sense with my mind, I can't make sense of this.
This does not make sense.
Bombs and war – makes no sense anymore, if it ever did.
I have to come back to one thing and one thing only.
What Would Love Do Now?
If God spoke now, if Jesus spoke now, if Allah spoke now, if Mohammed spoke now, if Buddha spoke now….
What would they say?
Many places in the world are under attack; many people feel unheard and devastated, not just Paris, but many, many places.
When the women in the UK felt their voices were not heard, they turned to more aggressive means in the Suffragette movement. When anyone is not heard and people are dying or being abused, sometimes all they can do is turn to screaming, shouting and aggression to be heard…
But are we listening?
Are we listening to the people of Syria? Iraq? Afghanistan?
Are we listening to our hearts, our souls - the wise voice within?
Are we able to make peace with our own warring minds? Our own brutal thoughts? Our own critical bombing of what we see ourselves to be?
I don't know how to write this from an inspired place right now.
I look inside myself and I see sadness, I see confusion, I see frustration…
What Inside Me Needs My Attention Right Now?
I know there is love, there is joy, there is light too, but what inside me needs my attention right now?
Can I make peace with war?
Can I make peace with powerlessness?
Can I make peace with not knowing the answers?
Can I make peace with confusion?
Can I make peace with 'What Is'?
Because 'What Is' is:
Not being heard
Misunderstandings on all sides
So where in myself am I, with this mass consciousness being felt and expressed?
I appear to be warring against war.
I appear to be fearing going deeper inside myself.
I have an element of wanting to aggressively put things right in the world.
I feel the need to retaliate and defend my beliefs and opinions about this situation.
I am not hearing my heart that wants me to drop into love. I feel misunderstood and not heard.
I have blame inside that is blaming the media for spreading lies.
I feel anger and hate towards those who hate – what a hypocrite I have within me now.
I feel misunderstood. I misunderstand the pain shared by those that blame.
And most of all I have been resisting 'What Is'.
This is how the whole world is within every single one of us.
We need to make peace with what is arising for us personally.
Cry, grieve, love the parts of us that blame, hate, anger; love the superiority that may feel it knows better than others in the world; have compassion for all of mankind, not just those who have lost, but those who blame and hate because they are simply expressing.
I don't feel good about any of this.
I don't understand.
It is okay that I don't understand.
This too shall pass and beneath confusion is clarity, beyond pain is healing, on the underside of hate is sadness needing attention…
If we can't love the confusion, we are at war with 'What Is'.
It's a tough pill to swallow.
But swallow we must.
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