For the longest time I believed that to have high self-esteem was a worthy goal to aim for. I didn't even realise I had this goal until recently.
Practising mindfulness led me into a less goal/future orientated approach to living and a more 'present moment' experience. Little did I know, lingering in the back of my mind, was the desire to not have low self-esteem and this automatically created the goal of 'high self-esteem'.
How many of us wish we had a greater sense of esteem? And when did we define and separate esteem into categories?
It is similar to reaching for a better job, but instead it feels like making a career out of chasing a higher sense of self-esteem.
What's Wrong With Right Now?
It's funny how it takes becoming present to be aware of where our beliefs lie. Here I was aspiring to be better, a better writer, a better everything. But, better than what? Who I am right now? OOPS!
I looked at other writers, secretly wishing that my writing was as good as their's, and by doing so reinforced my own place on the career ladder of esteem.
This was good to realise. Time to hop off that train of thought.
What's Wrong With Aspiring To Be Better?
There is nothing wrong with wanting to experience greater knowledge, with educating ourselves, with growing as human beings, but the problem comes in when we reach to be better because we don't see that who we are right now is good enough and see 'others' as better.
We all have a multitude of strengths and weaknesses, so why lump who we are into the label of low self-esteem or high?
By doing so we automatically reinforce the other end of the feeling spectrum.
I'm glad to be made aware of this now.
Do you rate your self-esteem?
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photo credit: Key Foster via photopin cc