|Zen - Emptiness - Wholeness - Heart|
Home, Source, God, Creator - whatever we name or label the energy that creates all things has always resided within us. Yet most of us have been so easily distracted by the trappings of the ego, the mind and the desire of the surface self, that we've missed out on the wisdom of the deeper self. I know I have.
My own desires ranged from wanting my own home, car, relationship and the typical life society had me believe I wanted, to letting that all go and letting myself want what I felt I really wanted. To travel the globe, independently.
While travelling still appeals to me I see what I genuinely want and desire. I am starting to see what my soul desires, what my God-Self within me desires to experience in this lifetime. A return home - to my heart.
It's funny as most paths talk about love and re-connecting with the spirit. And then we have the whole Law of Attraction bandwagon which I got caught up on for a long time. To me the Law of Attraction bandwagon, (Abraham Hicks and other such teachers) has taken us away from the essence of our souls' desires. It has concentrated on the material plane. The car, the house, the outer relationship, the holidays, the money, the new clothes etc etc... all rather pleasant distractions and yet as humans these distractions fall short. We always 'want' more and more and more..... And we con ourselves through such teachings to believe its okay to want - in this way. It's okay to get happy, get the 'stuff' we want and then send forth another desire and another and another. Yet to me we are all missing the point completely. We do not need the more the more the more... when the more we have been seeking resides within our own hearts.
I personally feel that these teachings are missing LOVE - the centre of our being. Happiness does not come from what we want, it comes from who we are. And it is very difficult to make peace with who we are if we distract ourselves with constant attention on the outer.
Instead of distracting ourselves from unpleasant experiences to focus on those 'wants', we need to focus on those experiences within us. We need to bring the pain, the suffering, the anger that arises (that is not who we are but is a conditioned energy arising forth) and center it within our own being.
When anger, upset, sadness, doubt, fear arises.... instead of distracting, welcome it in.
Many many moons ago somebody told me this and I never did fully understand the importance of doing this until now. I remember having what I called an anxiety attack and she told me that God loved the anxiety and to welcome it into me. I thought I must fix the anxiety. Get rid of it at all costs. And anyone with anxiety arising will know fine well that it cannot be done. So over this past month with the help of a book I have been reading I am learning to say welcome to ALL feelings that arise.
The book I am reading speaks about how we all treat the feelings and thoughts that we don't like, like bastard children. When instead we need to start taking care of those feelings within our own heart and wrapping them in what love we have within us.
My most dominant intent now is not the money, the big house, the travels - while my mind, ego and surface self still likes the ideas of these things, but to experience loving. To increase the opening and expansion of my heart so love flows through me. Not attached to anyone but just flows. To experience the wisdom within me, the peace within me and the balance of power - within me.
As humans, many of us are so afraid of emptiness. We fill our lives, our heads and our time with stuff, thoughts, people, activities, dramas - anything to fill the empty void. Yet how many of us have allowed ourselves to linger in that void for long enough to experience what lies beyond the empty? When we get a sense of empty in our lives, most of the time we fill it with something, anything. An old belief system goes and we fill it with another one and so the cycle goes on.
The ego brings up a lot of fear around this.
I know from my own experience this past week, my change in what I want in my life to experiencing love, has caused my ego to fight against it. Any little dramas it has been trying to find to latch onto to make important. Emptiness is the ego, the mind's greatest pain, greatest fear. So I am reminding myself that it is perfectly normal that all hell may break loose when a change in belief occurs. Especially when it means focusing on those things that are all inside and not outside at all.
The ego likes drama and when it can see the spirit beginning to expand and open from a soul level, it will do anything to keep a measure of control even if that that control means stress and upset.
So this Winter my bear-like qualities are really beginning to kick in. And I ask myself what wisdom lies within.
What do you feel your soul desire is?