I know that when I am fully present, fully in the moment, fully engaged in whatever I am doing, be it an activity, to simply being in nature, I am not aware of any yearning. However, this yearning for more nearly always arises at some point in my day or week, and this yearning feels like it is coming from a place of lack. My mind, while doing the yearning also wants to be the part of me that wants to chop off the head of the yearning me.
Can we ever stop the yearning for more from a place of lack?
And if we can't, does this mean nothing changes?
While I intellectually get that to release the resistance, is to release the resistance to yearning to begin with, I am still wanting further clarity on this and to emotionally 'get it'.
When do we yearn?
We yearn when we have stepped outside the now.
We yearn when we allow old thinking to step back into our consciousness.
We yearn when we are triggered by emotional wounding by friends, family or life highlighting our difference, through comparison.
Most of all, we yearn when we believe we must be doing something other than what we are doing now, or having something more than we have right now. The mind tells us, 'this is not enough'.
Needless to say it is our need for control of our lives that further reinforces the yearning. We may think being with 'what is' in our lives isn't going to give us the changes we want, and we create a sense of urgency within ourselves. We are often careless with our feelings, careless with how we treat ourselves during this time of yearning. We beat ourselves up for both yearning and not being able to stop yearning creating a lose-lose situation.
So for me I know the first step is to accept that I am yearning. And then it is time to love the aspect of me that yearns for something more. To acknowledge it is okay, it is natural to have feelings like this arise. And just because we may be sitting being, or looking at the same walls it is our resistance to those walls that stops the flow of change, not the walls.
Once we are able to look at the walls, really look at the walls, take a deep breath of acceptance and appreciation of their place in our world, the walls no longer seem like walls.
As humans, for some reason, we may have this belief that we need to 'do' in order to 'have' or 'be' something different. Yet when we push against 'what is' we simply keep ourselves in a holding pattern for however long we do this for.
The sun shines, it rises each morning, yet we do not judge it for rising in the same place of the sky do we? We do not push against the sun shining. We have simply accepted its place in our world. It is 'what is'. And through our acceptance, our acknowledgement and appreciation it enhances our world around us, we grow, the planet grows, the air we breathe happens, the food we need to nourish us is there... all because we have this amazing sun.
In our awareness of the awesomeness of the present moment, our day-to-day lives and life become more vibrant, more energetic and more juicy!
As we release our resistance to yearning; as we allow ourselves to yearn without berating ourselves for doing so, we bring the yearning into a space of nurturing and love and it loses its sting.
And to trust, really trust, that whatever we are doing, wherever we are and whoever we are with, is exactly what is meant to be and that at this moment great mystery knows the way.
This will make life so much sweeter and day-to-day living a blessing instead of a curse.