Tuesday, 3 May 2011

The Doorway Within


It seems I write differently to other writers.  I cannot seem to write a list of topics and go to work on them.

As my life is goal free and built on a journey of conscious unfolding and allowing, to plan a piece, to fix an object for my photographs brings up a stifling feeling inside me.

*Momentarily distracted by the rear end of a ducks bottom bouncing in the air by the lake

It would be so much easier if my life was planned out for me.  A step one, then a step two and a goal at the end, but it's not.  I knew when my desires brought me here to this place of not understanding, of not knowing, that my path was not a straight path but much like the current of a river flowing in ways even I know not.

It would be easier to wake up one morning and know the direction to plot out for my life but this is not my way. For now I am being encouraged to live it day by day.


Sometimes I look in envy at other's paths so well planned out.  Careers forming early, goals, ambitions and intentions charted like a flight path, making its way for lift off.

It must be nice to know.

Or is it?

While my current path may scare me, the journey of the unknown, I know no other way but a path I walk alone.

*Momentarily distracted by 8 ducklings the size of an Oreo cookie.

Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way we want it to turn out because we 'want' too much.  A life where unexpected experiences do not litter the road we walk on.  Sometimes we have fixed in our minds what we think we need right now. But what we need may be the lack of what we think we want, because it brings us to questions we had not dared to ask the unfolding of our own hearts.  We discover that what we need is a doorway within.

And this is what we all really want deep down,
We want a connection of this deeper soul,
This deeper light,
This love that lies inside,
Our own, very deepest, insight.

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