Flowing...what does that feel like?
Have you ever felt the flow of water rushing past you in a river or allowed the waves to carry you in the ocean?
What if life was meant to be this way?
Pushing Against Life's Flow
Last weekend and prior to that I was pushing against the flow. I believed I knew what I was here for in life. I believed that going through the void was so painful and I felt it would never end. Prior to last weekend I had excitement about life but it was coming from a place of self importance, of insecurity and it was not grounded. I came from a place where I felt I had to organise and control much of my life to make it work.
Life does not work this way. If we come from a place of insecurity, or self doubt, if we create from these heavy places we create heavy spaces and as Jaya said to me on a blog recently:
"desperate creators, create desperate creations!".
With my business I was creating from desperation. In the beginning it was exciting. I left my full time job in retail to go full time self employed. I was supported with so much love from Mike both financially and emotionally and I did not research enough into my business before doing it.
When I was working in retail my part time business on eBay looked like it was doing great, but I did not do my calculations properly or anything at all that needed to be done.
I learned some very harsh lessons in business, how an idea can be grand and beautiful, but it has to also be grounded too. I see so many people on the spiritual path who have wonderful ideas in business yet they leap right in without considering the practicalities too.
A Life Purpose Learning Curve
This time has been a great curve for me.
I said to the universe within me 'I am ready to let go of control and see where the flow takes me'.
I have never been in the flow for very long in my life, perhaps I allowed the flow to carry me in some areas, but I have been controlling over what I thought was my life's work. I had ideas based on 'shoulds' and what sounds interesting, felt important or what would get me attention and love.
My life works ideas were based on insecurities and needs. I recommend anyone who is wondering why what they are trying to do in their lives is not working to ask:
Why do you want to do what you want to do?
Be real honest with yourself and keep asking 'Why' until you get to the root.
You may experience a dropping away of all that no longer works, you may find yourself empty of ideas, creativity passion for a while, you may feel stripped away of everything you thought you were. And through the void, through the surrender to this empty state you will discover a flow of light that will carry you through your life.
Be Life The River
Be like the river, discover what you really want, what makes you feel good, this does not necessarily mean 'serving others', we often serve others to make ourselves feel worthwhile, but we are worthwhile without doing this, so what really gets you going? Get clear with your likes and wants.
State them out-loud. For example it may seem simple, it may seem not as 'worthy' as some other life paths or work, but you may like shopping, you may like animals, dancing, spending time with friends, chatting in coffee shops, travelling.
What if your basic wants and loves in life could be something a life work or job could be opened into? What if your likes actually had a role out there just for you?
Maybe the flow can carry you to a role, job, work, place that has all these amazing qualities that you enjoy in your life?
Can you let go of control enough to allow this place to happen? Are you ready to stop the search for the perfect job, perfect place, perfect partner, perfect life?
Let go into the flow, drop the need to seek and find, it will find you, be open and aware and be you!
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